Use I as the subject of a sentence (Bobby and I went home), me as the object of a verb or a preposition (She called Bobby and me), and myself only when it refers back to an I in the same sentence (I hurt myself). To check a sentence that mentions two people, leave out the other person and see which pronoun sounds right.
Has anyone ever criticized your use of me, myself, and I? You got defensive, but after a while you were not so sure you were right anymore.
Of all the pronouns, these three first-person singular pronouns cause some of the most confusion, especially for learners of English. Here is an example:
Our last vacation was fantastic. Bobby and me went to Disneyland. It was packed, but we still had a good time there.
If you read it quickly, you may miss the error. Here is the correct version:
Our last vacation was fantastic. Bobby and I went to Disneyland. It was packed, but we still had a good time there.
The sentence needs the subject pronoun I here, not the object pronoun me. The sections below explain the difference between me, myself, and I.
Me
Me is an object pronoun: it is the object of a verb or of a preposition. Examples:
- You wouldn't hurt me, would you? (object of the verb hurt)
- He called me a jerk. (object of the verb called)
- Pass the ball to me. (object of the preposition to)
- Please do it for me. (object of the preposition for)
Even when the object has two parts, you still use me, not I or myself:
- My boss called Mike and me the other day.
- If anything happens, call Mom or me.
Myself
Use myself only when it refers to an I earlier in the same sentence. It has two jobs.
As a reflexive pronoun, it is the object when you do something to yourself. Here you cannot leave it out:
- I hurt myself.
- I made myself a cup of tea.
As an intensive pronoun, it adds emphasis. You could leave it out, but writers use it to stress who the subject is:
- I will fix the patio myself.
- I myself feel that something is amiss.
- I have never thought about it myself.
Without an I earlier in the sentence, myself is wrong: Please contact Anna or myself should be Please contact Anna or me.
I
I is a subject pronoun. Use it only as the subject of a verb:
- I am here with you.
- I will be there without fail.
- I made some breakfast.
That stays true when the subject has two parts:
- Both Kira and I think you're innocent.
- Mom and I have talked it over.
- Geoffrey and I would like to visit you again.
A simple test
If me still sounds right to you in those sentences, try this test: leave out the other person and read the sentence with me alone.
- Me think you're innocent.
- Me have talked it over.
- Me would like to visit you again.
They don't sound right at all, so Kira and me, Mom and me, and Geoffrey and me are wrong in these sentences too. The test also works the other way round: My boss called Mike and I becomes My boss called I, which is clearly wrong, so the right form is Mike and me.
For the other pronouns and their forms, see what you need to know about pronouns. Who or whom follows the same logic of subject and object. And if you are still unsure about a sentence, run it through the Spell Checker, which checks grammar as well as spelling.